The one that is missing from your list, which is the one I think that is most important of all, is love. If you feel nothing at all for a girl but she meets all the other requirements, would you still marry her because she has a wealthy or famous family and is fair? That's pretty cold.

Nowhere do you list feelings, only physical traits, intelligence and material things. This sounds like a checklist you would make before you buy property.

But it is not possible know about love before marriage (if you are not in a realtionship before marriage). Love in a relationship,comes gradually with time. How can you see 'love' in a girl before marriage? I am asking about a girl whom you have just met.

I have to admit I am completely lost. Unless you come from a different culture than here in the US, without love why would anyone get married. The graduale time it takes to love someone is the courtship period leading up to asking her to marry you. Also why would a women agree to marry you if she is not in love with you and/or if you haven't told her you are in love with her. Mt advice don't marry anyone your not in love with.

Yes Geo6543, you are correct. I am from a culture where arrange marriage is very common (Although mine is a love marriage). In US, your process is a bit different. Anyhow coming to my question, I request everyone to arrange those criteria mentioned above without taking into account the 'love' factor? (Let us assume that love is in the top of that list)

1. Behaviour (without good character, you've got nothing, and bitchy gets old fast)
2. Smartness (dippy may be cute at first, but not later. You have to be able to talk)
3. Body Type (do they take care of themselves. If not, will they take care of you)
4. Looks (let's face it, we are all attracted to looks)
5. Body Color (we are also attracted to certain ethnicities and types)
6. Family History (were the relatives in jail or on drugs)
7. Education (without an education, the smartness factor comes into question)
8. Profession (have they chosen a reputable career. Mom wouldn't approve of a stripper)
9. Cooking Capability (while this may not seem important at first, it will be later)
10. Rich/Poor (nice to know she's not just marrying you for your ability to take care of her)
11. Educational background of the family (an educated family is easier to deal with)
12. Social Status (This isn't so important any more, although it is in certain cultures)

Your list gives me the creeps. Actually, so does arranged marriage. Why are you going along with it? It's the 21st century. This is a human being you're talking about. You sound like a judge at a county fair looking at the animals.

Dear PallasAthena, please dont take it personally. I do agree that arranged marriage is a big contradiction to this modern world. But this is the culture of a country and my personal views are not enough to change the culture. Isn't it?
Coming to the question, I have not asked anyone to judge. I have only asked about your internal feeling or desire. For example, 'beauty' to someone means external look, dress and hair-style; where as the same word 'beauty' refers to beauty of heart and soul to someone else. So, the first person will be giving look, body type and complexion better improtance than oter criteria.

You pose a good question ...but may I comment that you are not really in love when you marry someone.

Love has to be nurtured in order for it to produce a healthy and productive relationship.

These are imortant things to look for in a potential life partner. Before you decide to marry someone its important to get to know them on a social level indiffrent situations. People today dont realize that the high divorce rate is because many go straight to the physical and dont allow themselves time to get to know the other important aspects. Such as:

1. Do you have the same beliefs?

2. In a group setting does this person freely give of themselves or take ?

3. Does this person have low self esteem?

4. Do they have a temper ?

5. How do they listen?

6. How do they respond?

7.Do they care about thier parents or parent and show it?


Get to know the person.....