She needs to be shown some love. Someone needs to in force some boundaries and spend time with her so she won't be doing this she shouldn't. You need to show her a good example by being her older sister and maybe she is not getting that from your way of life.

We have movie nights at home. we go out to malls, see movies, i try to teach her to cook. i ask if she want to go shopping with me. iv tried everything to honestly spend time. but her friends are more important then family. she is daddys lil girl, she gets all his love. iv tried to make boundaries but if i try to make rules i get "your not my mom". idk what else i can do to show her examples. i showed her cooking cleaning. iv tought her about makeup, hair, boys, (even tho im always wrong in her eyes). iv tried to teach responsibility with babysitting for money. help her put out apps. do you have any more ideas? iv tried everything that i wanted from my mom. but she is just to disrespectful to me no matter what i try

I can't say for a fact if she is or isn't doing drugs. But I do think she needs some structure in her life. I'm sorry about your mom. But it seems like your sister does not have a mother or a father at home. Not really to tell her what she can't do, but just to be there. I see that your are trying, but she might pull the "you're not my mom" card. She seems like she is out of control and without someone to set her straight, it might get worse. Either your dad needs to put his foot down, or he needs to let you parent her and take charge. It can't be you say one thing and he says the other. that will just let your sister get away with whatever she wants.
I'm sorry you're going through this. Good luck to you

It sounds to me like you are doing your best to take care of YOU and your child, but you really are ill equipped to take care of more than yourself and you are being forced to. Your father and your mother are completely checked out of the situation. Who is your sister's legal guardian? If she has fallen into a pattern of disrespect, lying, involvement with the police and is showing signs of drug use, the best most loving thing you can do for her is to get her out of the energy and situation she is in now and into foster care. Call child protective services and speak to them about the process for having her placed. You are unable to care for her, and others might think what i am suggesting is mean, but I watched my sister in law turn a blind eye until her daughter was a heroine junky. Don't let that happen to your sister.

I understand you worry's about drugs, its the same for me as well. but because times get hard and you do ask for help. iv learned you don't give up one the ones you love. because i didn't like that feeling. if she wanted to leave then yes but to give her away is just not honestly human to me. yes im a young mother. but iv raised her while my dad worked and went to school. to support us. my father is around but yet ill. very ill. im sorry to get defensive on you but in all respect because your sister in law didn't notice, doesn't mean everyone with these kind of problems are the same. iv raised my youngest bother and sister who live with my mom till they were five. yes the teenage years are hard and im remembering how i was and trying to understand. i am her legal guardian now. my father singed guardianship. i appreciate your opinion, and im sorry that your answer would be to let them leave and not be a family. but that is just not the right thing in my eyes.
Thank you tho :)
i know i asked for options i just want my point of view out there as well

He is home, but sleeps alot and in and out of it. i thank you for this. iv told my boyfriend the same thing where if he just told her im in charge and we (my dad and i) are a team. i just dont want to stress him so im worried about ways to bring thing up. i agree shes out of control at her age if i looked at him with an attitude id get in trouble.

As hard as you are trying to help in this situation, you obviously still need others to intervene. Since your mom has her own set of problems and your dad has serious health issues, you need to look for other means of assistance. If there is a Big Brothers/Big Sisters program in your area, see if you or your dad can enroll your sister in it. They provide volunteers to kids up to age 17 who are positive mentors and who spend time with them on a one-to-one basis.

It seems to me that your sister wants attention and has used negative behavior to get it. Having a strong adult to help her focus on more positive , productive things could turn her life around. To find out more about the Big Brothers/Big Sisters program and the location nearest you, go to their website at www.bbbs.org.

I hope your sister someday appreciates how much you care about her and her future.